How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers: Your Ultimate Survival Guide
Raise your hand if you’ve ever had a coworker who made you want to scream into a pillow.
Yeah, we thought so. And it’s not just you, a whopping 85% of us deal with workplace conflict at some point. That’s a lot of lost time, energy, and sanity – not to mention a staggering $359 billion in paid hours wasted on office drama every year!
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Dealing with difficult coworkers doesn’t have to be a soul-sucking experience. In fact, if you learn how to deal with difficult coworkers, you can even turn those painful interactions into opportunities for growth.
And that’s where Blinkist comes in. Our bite-sized book summaries give you access to the wisdom of experts who’ve cracked the code of navigating tricky workplace relationships.
In just a few minutes, you can learn how to set boundaries and communicate effectively.
So, whether you’re dealing with a micromanaging boss, a negative Nancy, or a colleague who loves to play the blame game, this article has you covered.
The 5 Types of Difficult Coworkers (and How to Handle Them)
Now, let’s dive into the personalities you might encounter lurking around the water cooler and how to handle them:
The Pessimist
The Pessimist thrives on negativity, always expecting the worst-case scenario. They can quickly dampen team morale with their doom-and-gloom predictions.
But while their negativity can be draining, it’s important to remember that pessimists often possess a keen eye for potential risks and problems.
How to Deal with a Pessimistic Coworker:
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Acknowledge and Validate:Let them know you hear their concerns. Saying something like, “I understand why you’re worried about [specific issue],” can make them feel heard and less likely to dwell on negativity.
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Reframe and Redirect: Gently guide the conversation towards a more positive and solution-oriented approach. Try saying, “I hear your concerns, and it’s smart to consider potential challenges. What are some steps we can take to mitigate those risks?”
- Utilize Their Strengths: Channel their pessimism into constructive criticism. Assign them tasks that require a critical eye, such as reviewing proposals or identifying potential flaws in a project.
Blinkist’s recommended read:
“The Optimism Bias” by Tali Sharot
The Optimism Bias
- 21 min reading time
- audio version available
This book summary digs into the eye-catching science behind why we tend to see the world with a bit of extra sparkle, even when things get tough.
It’s fascinating to understand this optimistic outlook, and it can also help you appreciate the benefits of a more pessimistic perspective—without letting the negativity get to you.
The Passive-Aggressive
The Passive-Aggressive colleague is a master of disguise, their true feelings masked behind a veil of sugary-sweet words and seemingly harmless jokes.
Their weapon of choice? The backhanded compliment, the subtle dig, and the silent treatment. They’ll agree to your face but undermine you behind your back, leaving you frustrated and confused.
How to Deal with a Passive-Aggressive Colleague
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Seek Clarity: When faced with a backhanded compliment or ambiguous statement, politely ask for clarification. Say something like, “I’m not sure I understood what you meant by [their comment]. Could you elaborate on that?”
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Open the Lines of Communication: Create a safe space for honest conversation. Let them know you value their opinion and want to understand their perspective. This can help them feel comfortable expressing their concerns directly instead of resorting to passive-aggressive tactics.
- Address the Behavior, Not the Person: Instead of saying, “You’re being passive-aggressive,” focus on the impact of their actions. For example, you could say, “When you agreed to the deadline but didn’t deliver, it caused a lot of stress for the team.”
Blinkist’s recommended read:
“Dealing with Poor Team Performance” by Blinkist Curators
This collection of Blinkist summaries delivers new insights into managing team performance issues. It includes practical tips on communication, resolving conflicts, and creating a productive atmosphere.
Additionally, by identifying the underlying reasons for passive-aggressive behavior and using these approaches, you can turn challenging interactions with colleagues into chances for personal and professional development.
The Know-It-All
The Know-It-All considers themselves the resident expert on everything, from the latest marketing trends to the best coffee shop in town.
They’re quick to interrupt, offer unsolicited advice, and dismiss the ideas of others. While their confidence might seem admirable at first, their know-it-all attitude can quickly become a major roadblock to collaboration and innovation.
How to Deal with a Know-It-All Coworker
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Don’t Engage in Power Struggles: Trying to outsmart or prove them wrong will likely lead to a frustrating back-and-forth. Instead, focus on redirecting their energy towards productive outcomes.
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Ask for Specifics: When they make a sweeping statement or claim, politely ask for more details. Say something like, “That’s an interesting point. I’d love to hear more about the data you’re basing that conclusion on.” This can help them realize they may not have all the answers.
- Redirect and Refocus: If they interrupt you, gently but firmly assert your right to speak. You can say, “I’d like to finish my thought, and then I’d love to hear your perspective.”
Blinkist’s recommended read:
“Think Again” by Adam Grant
Think Again
- 22 min reading time
- audio version available
This great book summary explores the importance of rethinking our assumptions and embracing intellectual humility. It offers practical strategies for having more productive conversations and learning from those who hold different viewpoints – including the office know-it-all.
The Blame Shifter
The Blame Shifter is a master of avoiding accountability. Did a project fail? It’s someone else’s fault. Did a deadline get missed? They were never told about it in the first place.
Dealing with a coworker who constantly shifts blame can be exhausting and demoralizing, leaving you feeling like you’re constantly on the defensive.
How to Deal with a Blame Shifter:
- Document Everything: Keep meticulous records of your work, communications, and interactions with the blame shifter. This creates a paper trail that can be invaluable if they try to distort the truth or shift blame.
- Address the Issue Directly: When they try to pin the blame on you, calmly and assertively present the facts. Use phrases like, “According to my records, I completed my part of the project on [date],” or “I sent you an email on [date] confirming the deadline.”
- Offer Solutions, Not Accusations: Instead of getting caught in a blame game, focus on finding solutions to the problem at hand. Suggest a collaborative approach to rectify the situation and prevent similar issues from arising in the future.
Blinkist’s recommended read:
“Crucial Accountability” by Kerry Patterson, a.o.
Crucial Accountability
- 11 min reading time
- audio version available
This summary offers practical tools for holding yourself and others accountable for their actions, even in difficult situations. Learn how to address performance issues, set clear expectations, and foster a culture of accountability.
The Micromanaging Boss
The Micromanaging Boss is the epitome of a control freak. They constantly look over your shoulder, second-guessing every decision and making you feel like you can’t do anything right.
Their constant scrutiny can stifle creativity, dampen morale, and leave you feeling suffocated and demotivated.
How to Deal with a Micromanaging Boss:
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Proactive Communication: Schedule regular check-ins with your boss to discuss your progress and address any concerns they may have. This can help alleviate their anxiety and make them feel more in control.
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Set Clear Expectations: Discuss your work style and preferences with your boss. Explain how much autonomy you need to be productive and ask for their trust.
- Document Your Work: Keep detailed records of your accomplishments and progress towards goals. This evidence can be useful when demonstrating your competence and reliability.
Blinkist’s recommended read:
“Managing Up” by Mary Abbajay
Managing Up
- 20 min reading time
- audio version available
“Managing Up” is a practical guide that teaches you how to forge strong, productive relationships with your boss. The book is filled with strategies for effective communication, self-advocacy, and professional success, helping you to collaborate better with any type of boss.
More Tips on How to for Deal with Difficult Coworkers
While we’ve covered 5 common types of difficult coworkers, every individual is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. However, these additional tips can help you navigate those choppy waters with all kinds of working colleagues:
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Focus on Solutions, Not Problems: When conflict arises, resist the urge to get caught up in the blame game. Instead, channel your energy into finding constructive solutions. Ask yourself, “What can I do to improve this situation?”
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Be Empathetic: While it might be hard to believe, even the most challenging coworker is likely dealing with their own struggles. Try to understand their perspective and what might be driving their behavior.
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Set Clear Boundaries: Don’t be afraid to politely but firmly set boundaries with difficult coworkers. Let them know what you will and won’t tolerate, and stick to your guns. As the Blinkist summary of “Essentialism” reminds us, “The word ‘no’ is a complete sentence.”
- Remember, It’s Not Always Personal: Often, difficult behavior stems from personal issues or deep-seated insecurities. Try not to take it personally, and focus on maintaining your own professionalism and well-being.
For more targeted advice on dealing with difficult coworkers who are trying to sabotage your work, or exhibit other toxic behaviors, check out the Blinkist article “How To Deal With A Coworker Trying To Make You Look Bad.”
Be a Better Coworker with Blinkist
Dealing with difficult coworkers is a challenge most of us face, but it doesn’t have to be a losing battle. By understanding the different types of difficult colleagues and learning effective strategies for dealing with them, you can transform your workplace experience.
Remember, the key is to stay calm, focus on solutions, and communicate clearly.
And if you need a little extra guidance, Blinkist is here to help.
With thousands of book summaries on topics like communication, conflict resolution, and leadership, you’ll gain valuable insights and practical advice in just a few minutes.
Download the Blinkist app today and start your free trial.
