Gaslighting Book Summary - Gaslighting Book explained in key points
Listen to the Intro
00:00

Gaslighting summary

Stephanie Moulton Sarkis

Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People - and Break Free

4.3 (335 ratings)
18 mins

Brief summary

Gaslighting by Stephanie Moulton Sarkis delves into the manipulative techniques used by gaslighters, equipping readers with the knowledge and strategies to recognize and defend against this toxic behavior.
Table of Contents

    Gaslighting
    Summary of 5 key ideas

    Audio & text in the Blinkist app
    Key idea 1 of 5

    Trapped in deception: Recognizing the gaslighting maze

    Imagine you're in a labyrinth, and your trust becomes the tool that pulls you deeper into confusion. This is the world of gaslighting – a crafty and harmful form of manipulation that bends reality and makes you question your very sanity. But by recognizing the common traits of gaslighters, you can pinpoint their deceptive tactics and avoid their manipulation.

    Gaslighters are artful at delivering what are called conditional apologies. “I'm sorry you feel that way,” they say, subtly deflecting the blame onto you. They cleverly make it appear as if the issue is with your feelings rather than their actions, leaving you doubting the legitimacy of your emotions.

    Additionally, they’re fond of triangulation – a method of indirect communication that breeds confusion and tension. Instead of addressing issues directly, they pass messages through others, keeping themselves in control and others in disarray. In the same vein, gaslighters use splitting to divide and conquer. They pit people against each other, creating distractions that shift attention from their actions and build an illusion of innocence.

    Gaslighters are often characterized by their demand for special treatment. They dismiss and undervalue those they perceive as less powerful, expecting preferential treatment in return. Obsessed with personal image and reputation, they tend to dominate interactions, shining the spotlight on superficial matters.

    But here's the thing: gaslighters don't respond to traditional discipline or punishment. They consistently dodge responsibility and resort to lying, manipulating, and teasing to wear down your resistance. For them, gaslighting is not a tactical manipulation – it's an integral part of their personality, closely tied to their constant thirst for power.

    Living with a gaslighter may have led you to develop cognitive dissonance. This is a state where you're dealing with constant discrepancies between the gaslighter's words and actions, making your reality a confusing tangle of contradictions. This can make you feel compelled to stay in the relationship even though it’s ultimately harming you.

    Healthy individuals don't resort to gaslighting. See these behaviors for what they are – the machinations of a manipulator who’s an expert at sowing seeds of self-doubt and distorting reality. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward breaking free from their grip.

    Want to see all full key ideas from Gaslighting?

    Key ideas in Gaslighting

    More knowledge in less time
    Read or listen
    Read or listen
    Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
    Find your next read
    Find your next read
    Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
    Shortcasts
    Shortcasts New
    We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

    What is Gaslighting about?

    Gaslighting (2018) is an illuminating guide in the obscure world of emotional manipulation. It reveals how to identify and break free from the devastating impact of gaslighting, so you can regain control of your life and restore your sense of self.

    Gaslighting Review

    Gaslighting (2018) by Stephanie Moulton Sarkis is an essential read for anyone who wants to understand the manipulative tactics used in toxic relationships and learn how to break free. Here's why this book stands out:

    • With clear explanations and real-life examples, it empowers readers to recognize gaslighting behavior and regain control of their lives.
    • The book offers practical strategies and tools to confront and address gaslighting, providing readers with a path to healing and personal growth.
    • Through its compassionate tone and relatable stories, it ensures that readers feel supported and understood in their journey towards healing and self-discovery.

    Who should read Gaslighting?

    • Emotional abuse victims searching for coping strategies
    • Friends and relatives hoping to understand their loved ones' gaslighting experiences
    • Mental health professionals seeking deeper insights into gaslighting and its effects

    About the Author

    Dr. Stephanie Sarkis is a respected psychotherapist, acclaimed author, and certified mediator specializing in ADHD, anxiety, and narcissistic abuse. In addition to her contributions to Forbes, Psychology Today, and the Huffington Post, she maintains a private practice in Tampa, Florida. Among her popular publications are Healing from Toxic Relationships and Natural Relief for Adult ADHD.

    Categories with Gaslighting

    Book summaries like Gaslighting

    People ❤️ Blinkist 
    Sven O.

    It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

    Thi Viet Quynh N.

    Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

    Jonathan A.

    Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

    Renee D.

    Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.

    People also liked these summaries

    4.7 Stars
    Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
    32 Million
    Downloads on all platforms
    10+ years
    Experience igniting personal growth
    Powerful ideas from top nonfiction

    Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,500+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.

    Start your free trial

    Gaslighting FAQs 

    What is the main message of Gaslighting?

    The main message of Gaslighting is to raise awareness about manipulation and emotional abuse.

    How long does it take to read Gaslighting?

    The reading time for Gaslighting varies, but it typically takes several hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just a few minutes.

    Is Gaslighting a good book? Is it worth reading?

    Gaslighting is worth reading for its insights and practical advice in navigating manipulative relationships.

    Who is the author of Gaslighting?

    The author of Gaslighting is Stephanie Moulton Sarkis.

    What to read after Gaslighting?

    If you're wondering what to read next after Gaslighting, here are some recommendations we suggest:
    • You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse by Melanie Tonia Evans
    • Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward with Donna Frazier
    • Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
    • In Sheep’s Clothing by George Simon Jr.
    • Waking the Tiger by Peter A. Levine with Ann Frederick
    • Should I Stay Or Should I Go by Ramani Durvasula
    • Theories of Childhood by Carol Garhart Mooney
    • Snakes in Suits by Paul Babiak and Robert D. Hare
    • Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Stephanie M. Kriesberg
    • It's Not You by Ramani Durvasula