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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
Getting Past No summary
William Ury
Brief summary
Getting Past No by William Ury is a guide to negotiating and resolving conflicts. It offers practical strategies for dealing with difficult situations and turning opposition into cooperation.
Table of Contents
Getting Past No
Summary of key ideas
Understanding the Obstacles
In Getting Past No by William Ury, we are introduced to the concept of 'no' as a barrier to negotiation. Ury explains that when we encounter resistance, our natural response is to react with resistance. This leads to a vicious cycle of escalating conflict. He suggests that the key to breaking this cycle is to understand the reasons behind the other party's 'no'.
Ury identifies five barriers to negotiation: your reaction, their emotion, their position, their perception, and their power. He explains that by understanding these barriers, we can begin to address the other party's concerns and move towards a resolution.
Dealing with Emotions
Ury then delves into the role of emotions in negotiation. He emphasizes the importance of managing our own emotions and understanding the emotions of the other party. He introduces the concept of the 'inner game' of negotiation, which involves managing our own emotions, and the 'outer game', which involves managing the emotions of the other party.
He provides practical strategies for dealing with negative emotions, such as anger and frustration, and turning them into positive forces for negotiation. Ury also highlights the importance of active listening and empathy in understanding the other party's emotional state.
Turning 'No' into 'Yes'
Ury then moves on to the core of his strategy for getting past 'no'. He introduces the concept of 'going to the balcony', which involves stepping back from the heat of the negotiation to gain perspective. This allows us to see the other party's perspective more clearly and respond more effectively.
He also introduces the 'positive no' technique, which involves saying no to the other party's demands while still maintaining a positive relationship. This technique allows us to stand firm on our position without escalating the conflict.
Building a Constructive Relationship
Ury emphasizes the importance of building a constructive relationship with the other party, even in the face of conflict. He introduces the concept of a 'working relationship', which involves separating the people from the problem and focusing on shared interests.
He also introduces the concept of a 'golden bridge', which involves providing the other party with a face-saving way to agree to our proposal. This helps to overcome their resistance and move towards a resolution.
Reaching a Mutually Beneficial Agreement
In the final part of Getting Past No, Ury focuses on reaching a mutually beneficial agreement. He introduces the concept of 'inventing options for mutual gain', which involves brainstorming creative solutions that meet the interests of both parties.
He also emphasizes the importance of fair standards in negotiation, which provide an objective basis for reaching an agreement. Ury concludes by highlighting the transformative power of negotiation, which can turn a 'no' into a 'yes' and a conflict into a constructive relationship.
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What is Getting Past No about?
Getting Past No by William Ury is a guide to negotiating and resolving conflicts effectively. Ury provides practical strategies for dealing with difficult situations and difficult people, and offers a step-by-step approach to turning opposition into cooperation. Whether in business, personal relationships, or international diplomacy, this book offers valuable insights into the art of negotiation.
Getting Past No Review
Getting Past No (1991) by William Ury is a practical guide to negotiation strategies that can help us overcome obstacles and reach mutually beneficial agreements. Here's why this book is worth reading:
- With its emphasis on collaborative problem-solving, the book provides effective techniques for dealing with difficult people and challenging situations.
- Ury's use of real-life examples and case studies helps illustrate the concepts, making them relatable and applicable in various contexts.
- The book's focus on communication and empathy ensures that readers learn how to connect with others and find common ground, making negotiations more productive and less adversarial.
Who should read Getting Past No?
- Professionals who want to improve their negotiation skills
- Anyone seeking to resolve conflicts and misunderstandings in a productive way
- Business leaders looking to create win-win situations in their interactions
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Book summaries like Getting Past No
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Getting Past No FAQs
What is the main message of Getting Past No?
The main message of Getting Past No is about the five-step strategy for negotiating with difficult people.
How long does it take to read Getting Past No?
The reading time for Getting Past No varies depending on the reader's speed, but it typically takes several hours. However, the Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.
Is Getting Past No a good book? Is it worth reading?
Getting Past No is a valuable read for anyone seeking negotiation skills. It provides practical techniques and strategies to overcome obstacles in difficult conversations.
Who is the author of Getting Past No?
The author of Getting Past No is William Ury.
What to read after Getting Past No?
If you're wondering what to read next after Getting Past No, here are some recommendations we suggest:
- Coaching for Performance by Sir John Whitmore
- Influence by Robert B. Cialdini
- The Pyramid Principle by Barbara Minto
- Made to Stick by Chip Heath and Dan Heath
- The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs by Carmine Gallo
- Selling the Invisible by Harry Beckwith
- You Can Negotiate Anything by Herb Cohen
- Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi
- Pitch Anything by Oren Klaff
- Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher, William Ury & Bruce Patton
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