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by Robin Sharma
Getting Past No by William Ury is a guide to negotiating and resolving conflicts. It provides practical strategies for dealing with difficult situations and turning impasses into opportunities for cooperation.
In Getting Past No, William Ury, co-founder of the Harvard Negotiation Project, explores the art of negotiation, specifically focusing on how to deal with difficult and resistant individuals. The book begins by highlighting the common obstacles in negotiations, such as personal attacks, ultimatums, and refusal to budge, which Ury collectively refers to as 'No'.
Ury suggests that the first step in overcoming resistance is to not react in kind. Instead, he advises us to remain calm and composed, acknowledging the other party's perspective and emotions. This approach, known as 'going to the balcony', allows us to distance ourselves from the conflict and see the bigger picture.
Ury then introduces the concept of 'negotiation jujitsu', which involves using the other party's resistance and negative energy to our advantage. Instead of resisting their 'No', we should accept it and redirect it towards problem-solving. This approach shifts the focus from positions to interests and helps in finding mutually beneficial solutions.
Another technique Ury proposes is to disarm the other party by acknowledging the validity of their concerns or fears. By doing so, we can build trust and create an environment conducive to productive negotiations. Ury calls this method 'building a golden bridge'.
Ury then moves on to the third stage of negotiation, which involves exploring options and finding solutions. He emphasizes the importance of brainstorming and creating multiple options before deciding on a solution. According to Ury, the more options we have, the better the chance of reaching an agreement that satisfies both parties.
Ury also introduces the concept of 'BATNA' (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement), which refers to the course of action we will take if the negotiation fails. Understanding our BATNA gives us the confidence to walk away from a bad deal and strengthens our position in the negotiation.
In the penultimate part of Getting Past No, Ury focuses on the process of making agreements. He suggests that agreements should be based on objective standards, such as market value or professional norms, rather than on arbitrary positions. This approach not only helps in reaching fair agreements but also prevents future disputes.
Ury concludes the book by highlighting the lessons we can learn from a 'No'. He argues that a 'No' is not the end of a negotiation but an opportunity to learn and improve our position. By understanding the reasons behind the 'No', we can address the underlying concerns and create a better chance for future agreements.
In Getting Past No, William Ury provides a comprehensive guide to effective negotiation, particularly in dealing with difficult situations and individuals. By adopting a calm and constructive approach, understanding the other party's concerns, and focusing on interests rather than positions, we can turn adversaries into partners and reach mutually beneficial agreements. The book serves as an invaluable resource for anyone seeking to master the art of negotiation.
Getting Past No by William Ury is a practical guide to negotiating and resolving conflicts. It provides strategies for dealing with difficult people and situations, and offers a step-by-step approach to reaching mutually beneficial agreements. Whether in business, personal relationships, or everyday life, this book offers valuable insights into the art of negotiation.
Individuals who want to improve their negotiation skills
Professionals who frequently encounter resistance or opposition in their work
People who want to learn how to turn conflicts into opportunities for collaboration
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Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,500+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.
Start your free trialBlink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma