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Marriage, a History Book Summary - Marriage, a History Book explained in key points

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Name: Marriage, a History
Rating: 4.2 (36 reviews)
Author: Stephanie Coontz

Stephanie Coontz

How Love Conquered Marriage

4.2 (36 ratings)

15 mins

Brief summary

Marriage, a History by Stephanie Coontz is a non-fiction book that traces the evolution of marital traditions across different cultures and time periods. It challenges traditional views and presents a nuanced understanding of current day relationships.

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Marriage

Table of Contents

Marriage, a History
Summary of 7 key ideas

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Key idea 1 of 7

What’s in it for me? Immerse yourself in the surprising history of marriage.

We’re surrounded by conservatives lamenting the death of the good old traditional family with a breadwinning father, a stay-at-home mother and a brood of happy, healthy children (who’d never dream of questioning gender roles, of course). But how much of a “tradition” is this, really? Through the ages, marriage has actually served many different purposes. For instance, did you know that marriage as a bond of love is a rather new concept? The history of marriage is a strange and fascinating story – one that we should all be more familiar with.

In these blinks, you’ll also learn

why our cave-dwelling ancestors invented marriage;
that people once wanted more in-laws; and
how marrying for love caused hysteria.

Marriage was initially a way of establishing kinship.

Imagine marrying someone you don’t truly love. A frightening thought, right? Indeed, most of us would say that love must exist before marriage can take place.

Historically, this is a rather recent development. In fact, for thousands of years, love had little to do with marriage.

In medieval Europe, for example, when people talked about “love,” they weren’t talking about married couples. Rather, “love” was something reserved for God, kin or neighbors.

And in India, falling in love was once even considered dangerous. Romantic love was viewed as antisocial, an emotion that could lead people to make irrational decisions and challenge the authority of the family.

So if marriage wasn’t about mutual love between two individuals, what was it about? Why invent marriage at all?

The answer may sound strange to modern ears: marriage was a means of establishing kinship. But why was this something that people wanted to do in the first place?

Well, our hunter-gatherer ancestors were nomadic travelers, constantly searching for food. In this search, they would sometimes stumble upon strange and potentially hostile groups and a fight would break out.

Such fights could be avoided, however, if the bands made peace instead of threatening one another. They figured that one of the easiest ways to establish a reliable connection between the bands was to marry a member of one group to a member of the other.

Through intermarriage, complete strangers (and even enemies) could be transformed into relatives, thus establishing kinships that helped guarantee peace. With this in mind, it makes sense that the old Anglo-Saxon word for “wife” meant "peace weaver."

Marriage was a crucial tool for extending economic and political power.

For some people, the many benefits of marriage come with a serious drawback: in-laws. For our ancient ancestors, however, new in-laws were worth celebrating.

In fact, the goal of growing the family through in-laws essentially gave rise to the institution of marriage. After all, more in-laws mean more people to trade with, and so groups with family ties were more likely to prosper economically and thus more likely to survive.

The Enlightenment and wage labor made love the main reason for marriage.

For thousands of years, parents arranged marriages based on their family's social and economic interest. Strategic marriage was so crucial for a family's success that the very notion of letting the children decide whom (not to mention if!) they wanted to marry was simply unthinkable, especially if that choice was based on something as fleeting and irrational as love.

It wasn’t until the late eighteenth century that major economic and cultural changes, most notably the Enlightenment and the emergence of wage labor, freed the individual from the dictates of their family.

In the Victorian era, marriage became the locus of emotional fulfillment and sexual frustration.

After a long history of arranged relationships, love-based marriage was uncharted territory for nineteenth-century Western societies. Consequently, it was some time before people began expecting from marriage what we now assume it should provide: emotional and sexual fulfillment.

For millennia, marriage had been a rational – not an emotional – undertaking. But, during the Victorian era (1837-1901), more and more people started expecting romantic love and personal fulfillment from matrimony.

After World War II, the male breadwinner marriage reached its Golden Age.

When conservatives talk about the “good ol’ days” of marriage, they’re likely referring to the 1950s and ’60s.

Indeed, the 1950s and early ’60s were a special period in the history of marriage (at least in the Western world): never before in the twentieth century had so many people married so young.

In the 1970s people had more freedom to choose a way of life, and marriage began to falter.

Soon after the marriage frenzy reached its peak, it took a rapid downward turn. Throughout the 1970s, the number of marriages fell: people began marrying later in life, out-of-wedlock births increased and divorce rates rose steadily. During this decade, every second marriage in the US ended in divorce.

But why?

Though modern marriage is changing rapidly, it’s not doomed.

Take a second to think about all the young married couples you know: it should be more than obvious that they differ significantly from the couples of previous generations!

Today, the division between male-as-breadwinner and female-as-homemaker is no longer the cultural norm. It’s much more common for both partners to be earners.

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What is Marriage, a History about?

Marriage, a History (2005) covers the history of the institution of marriage, from its genesis in the Stone Age to its recent crisis.

Marriage, a History Review

Marriage, a History (2005) by Stephanie Coontz explores the evolution of marriage and its influence on society throughout history. Here's why this book is definitely worth reading:

With a meticulous research approach, Coontz presents a wealth of historical evidence that uncovers the true nature of marriage, challenging common misconceptions.
The book offers a thought-provoking analysis of how marriage has transformed and adapted over time, shedding light on the complex dynamics of this institution.
By delving into cross-cultural perspectives, the book broadens our understanding of marriage, highlighting the diverse ways in which different societies have structured and perceived it.

Best quote from Marriage, a History

For centuries, marriage did much of the work that markets and governments do today.

—Stephanie Coontz

Who should read Marriage, a History?

People interested in social history and women’s studies
Couples considering marriage
Proponents of “traditional” marriage

About the Author

Stephanie Coontz is an author, social historian and professor at Evergreen State College. She also serves as the Director of Research and Public Education for the Council on Contemporary Families, and has published several other books on family issues and gender, including The Way We Never Were.

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