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The author of You're Invited is Jon Levy.

Career & Success

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You're Invited summary

Name: You're Invited
Rating: 4.5 (286 reviews)
Author: Jon Levy

Jon Levy

The Art and Science of Cultivating Influence

4.5 (286 ratings)

25 mins

Brief summary

'You're Invited' by Jon Levy is a guide to creating meaningful connections with others by breaking out of our comfort zones. Levy shares his insights on community building, networking, and the power of shared experiences to forge lasting relationships.

Topics

Career Progress Networking Persuasion Success Social Psychology Confidence

Table of Contents

You're Invited
Summary of 9 key ideas

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Key idea 1 of 9

What’s in it for me? Learn how to make authentic connections and build community.

By the time he’d reached his late twenties, Jon Levy was struggling. His start-up had failed, and he was grappling with the turmoil of the financial crash of 2008. He knew he wanted to make a difference in the world, but he just didn’t know how.

So he hosted a dinner party and invited 12 strangers to cook for him. From those humble beginnings, the Influencers Dinner was born – a network that now comprises thousands of people including Nobel laureates, Olympic champions, and award-winning musicians. Why would any of these people want to cook food for Levy? Because he’d discovered that what people crave the most is connection and community – and he designed the events to maximize both.

These blinks will reveal how you, too, can become a behavioral designer. They’ll show exactly how to create events that’ll strengthen your community and allow for authentic connection.

In these blinks, you’ll learn

why people value IKEA furniture so much;
how to build trust among strangers quickly; and
why understanding behavioral psychology can help you become a better leader.

Human connection is the key ingredient in any successful business or social movement.

Have you ever desperately wanted to change your behavior . . . but just couldn’t get yourself to do it? That’s what happened to Jean Nidetech, a woman desperate to lose weight. She knew she should change her diet and exercise habits. But she didn’t know how to make herself commit.

Whenever she went to the doctor, he’d just give her a new diet plan. Full of motivation, she’d stick to the diet religiously for a few weeks or months. But eventually she’d get tired, revert to her old eating patterns, and gain back all the weight she’d lost. Jean’s breakthrough came when she realized that thousands of women around her were having the same problems – they just weren’t talking about it.

The key message here is: Human connection is the key ingredient in any successful business or social movement.

Jean decided to break the silence. She invited a group of women to her home to discuss their experiences with weight loss and dieting. The women were thrilled to finally have the chance to talk openly and get support. In fact, the event was so successful that more and more people started coming each week. And people who had struggled for years were finally able to lose weight. That group became a little multimillion-dollar business called Weight Watchers.

Why was it so successful? Because it tapped into our deep need for connection. Humans evolved in tribes; we’ve always needed each other for survival. But today many people feel isolated and alienated, which has terrible effects on their well-being. In fact, research by social psychologist Matt Lieberman and his team has shown that social isolation lights up the same areas of the brain that react to physical pain. What’s more, loneliness has serious consequences for our physical health – being socially isolated has the same health risks as smoking a pack of cigarettes every day.

Successful companies, community movements, and activist protests all have something in common: they give people the chance to connect with others. They also give them the opportunity to be part of something bigger than themselves. By creating these engaged, trust-filled communities, people and organizations can have real and lasting influence.

Building trust quickly is essential to creating community.

Who do you trust the most in life? Is it your best friend since childhood? Or perhaps your family doctor?

Humans are wired to build trusting relationships with other people. After all, it’s how we’ve survived for so long. But trusting other people can also make us vulnerable to getting hurt. So we’ve developed handy screening mechanisms and biases to make it easier to know who to trust – and who to avoid.

People value things they've contributed to more than things they've been given.

We have a tendency to shower people we want to impress with expensive gifts. Surely, if they see how generous we are, they’ll start to care about us or our business – right? The thinking is understandable, but it’s also completely wrong. The truth is that people value the opportunity to give more than they value the opportunity to receive.

That’s something Benjamin Franklin knew very well. He once wanted to gain the support of a political rival. But instead of trying to flatter him, or buy his loyalty, he tried another tack: he asked his rival to lend him a rare book from his library. In those pre-Amazon days, locating the book and getting it to Franklin took quite some effort. The rival gave him the book – and then became a lifelong supporter.

When creating community, shared values are important – but diversity is, too.

In 2008, Iggy Ignatius was a Florida real-estate developer who’d just built a community of retirement homes. It seemed poised for great success. But then America experienced an enormous financial crash. The property market in Florida plummeted, and much bigger homes sold for a fraction of the price that Ignatius was charging. He feared the worst, but, in the end, all of his homes sold out – in spite of the fact that they were so much more expensive.

But why? Ignatius’s development was targeted at Indian retirees who would have loved to move back to India but were bound to America by family ties. Ignatius created a retirement community that offered Indian food, yoga, and Bollywood movie screenings. In short, it offered the promise of allowing retirees to connect with an Indian community and culture right there in Florida. That prospect was so compelling that it was worth the extra money.

You can connect with anyone if you learn to put yourself in their shoes.

Let’s say you’re designing an event, and you’d love for Oprah to be a VIP guest. Or perhaps you want to invite the CEO of a Fortune 500 company you admire. Or a community activist. But none of these people are in your immediate social circles. So how do you go about connecting with them? And, even more importantly, how can you make sure that they’ll actually want to come to your event?

The truth is, you can connect with anyone if you approach them with empathy and consideration. But you need to understand the unique social pressures that different groups of people face – and then develop tailor-made invitations that contribute to their lives.

Strong communities make people feel like they belong.

The word “community” is bandied around all the time. But what does it actually mean? Communities are more than just groups of people. They’re people who feel a special sense of belonging to one another – and to a common cause.

Researchers David McMillan and Davis Chavis studied all kinds of communities and defined four key pillars.

Understanding behavioral psychology will allow you to design better events.

If you go to Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, you’ll notice something strange. After you pay for your tickets, you can’t walk straight into the park. Instead, you need to take a 23-minute boat or bus ride that ferries you to the main gates.

Why would the park designers have created this seemingly impractical setup? Because they understand behavioral psychology very well. Tickets to Disney World are expensive. Specifically, four-day passes for a family will set you back around $1,200.

When you’re trying to create a community, start where you want to end up.

Traditionally, organizations that are looking to attract new members, or businesses seeking customers, have a recruitment model that focuses on three moments. First, there's the moment of discovery, when people first encounter the organization. Then there’s engagement, where people get to know it. And last, there’s membership when people sign on to become part of the community.

These phases are very important, but there’s a problem: they’re usually approached in the wrong order.

The most powerful social movements started over a cup of coffee.

The prospect of creating your own community might be intimidating. You may be thinking that you could never mobilize a network of thousands of people or start a multimillion-dollar business. And you might be right.

But, remember, many of these movements started out very small. Jean Nidetech simply invited a few people over to talk about weight loss. Tina Roth-Eisenberg looked for a way to make more artist friends. These communities grew from an authentic personal need, and they expanded because lots of people shared that need.

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What is You're Invited about?

You’re Invited (2021) is your guide to creating connections and building communities around what personally matters most. It reveals the key things you need to know about behavioral psychology in order to design events that best fit your business and values – and shows how you can make a real difference in the world.

You're Invited Review

You're Invited by Jon Levy (2021) is a captivating book that explores the power of connection and the impact of shared experiences. Here's why this book is definitely worth a read:

With intriguing stories and insights, the book provides a fresh perspective on the importance of building meaningful relationships.
It offers a practical roadmap for creating memorable events and fostering genuine connections, making it a valuable resource for both personal and professional growth.
Through Levy's unique blend of science and personal experiences, the book unravels the secrets behind unforgettable experiences, making it a fascinating and enlightening read.

Who should read You're Invited?

Business leaders looking to create a more supportive company culture
Introverts craving connection without the social pressure
Social justice activists looking to increase engagement

About the Author

Jon Levy is a behavioral scientist who works with Fortune 500 companies like Microsoft and Google to develop strategies for meaningful consumer engagement. He’s also the founder of the Influencers Dinner, an initiative that brings industry leaders, celebrities, and activists together.

Categories with You're Invited

Career & Success Psychology Communication Skills

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