Powerful ideas from top nonfiction
Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,500+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.
Start your free trial
Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
Listen to the Intro
Deeper Dating summary
Ken Page
How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy
18 mins
Brief summary
Deeper Dating by Ken Page is a guide to finding meaningful connections in love. He shows readers how to embrace their core gifts and vulnerabilities to find deeper and more fulfilling relationships, rather than settling for surface-level interactions.
Table of Contents
Deeper Dating
Summary of 6 key ideas
Audio & text in the Blinkist app
Key idea 1 of 6
Discovering your Core Gifts will lead you to love.
If you’ve ever tried to find your way through a maze, you’ll know that it’s a challenge. Some routes lead to dead ends, while others make you feel like you’re going around in circles. When you think about it, navigating a maze isn’t that different from looking for love. Except in the search for love, the obstacles aren’t fun challenges – they’re points of frustration.
But here’s something interesting: There’s a trick to navigating mazes, and it applies to finding love, too.
When you start at the center of a maze and work your way out, it’s easy to see exactly which route to take. And you can find love in the same way: by starting at your center – or, more precisely, your core.
The key message here is: Discovering your Core Gifts will lead you to love.
Your Core Gifts are the parts of you that are highly sensitive. When they’re stimulated, you can be incredibly inspired or terribly hurt. And since these are your Core Gifts, they’re not the same as other people’s. For instance, an experience that moves you deeply might do nothing for someone else. Or a friend might easily brush off a slight that leaves you fuming.
Being highly sensitive means that your Core Gifts are also the areas most affected by love and intimacy. This makes connecting with them essential when looking for a partner. But in order to connect with these gifts, you need to identify them. And you can do this by exploring what brings you joy as well as pain.
Reflect on times you’ve felt joy and fulfillment in a relationship – romantic or otherwise – and ask yourself which parts of you those moments spoke to the most. For example, maybe a partner supported and encouraged your ambition, making you feel seen. This would make ambition one of your Core Gifts.
Then consider things about which you’ve felt pain or shame. It’s common to feel hurt or insecure when your Core Gifts are misunderstood or disregarded. If you’re ashamed of being a quiet person, for instance, your Core Gift might be deep humility that hasn’t been appreciated or healthily expressed.
By paying attention to what makes you feel inspired or hurt, you can discover your Core Gifts. And this is where the magic happens, right at the heart of the maze: Your deepest connections will be with people who value the gifts you have to offer.
Want to see all full key ideas from Deeper Dating?
Key ideas in Deeper Dating
More knowledge in less time
Read or listen
Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
Find your next read
Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
Shortcasts New
We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.
What is Deeper Dating about?
Deeper Dating (2014) is a roadmap to intimacy and loving relationships. It breaks down how looking inward can help us identify the kinds of people we’ll connect with most deeply, and shares tools for finding these people and fostering relationships that will inspire and fulfill us.
Deeper Dating Review
Deeper Dating (2014) is a book that explores the transformative power of intimacy and how it can help us find deep and meaningful connections with others. Here's why this book is definitely worth reading:
- It offers a fresh perspective on dating and relationships, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and vulnerability as a path to true connection.
- Through personal stories and practical exercises, the book provides insightful tools for self-reflection and growth, helping readers navigate the complexities of dating and find lasting love.
- Grounded in psychology and spirituality, it combines research-backed insights with a compassionate understanding of human emotions, making it both enlightening and relatable.
Best quote from Deeper Dating
When were feeling brave, and connected to the warmth of our humanity, our chances of meeting someone special increase exponentially.
—Ken Page
Who should read Deeper Dating?
- Singles frustrated by popular dating advice
- Couples looking to strengthen their bonds
- Those who want to understand attraction and relationships
Categories with Deeper Dating
Book summaries like Deeper Dating
People ❤️ Blinkist
Sven O.
It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.
Thi Viet Quynh N.
Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.
Jonathan A.
Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.
Renee D.
Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.
People also liked these summaries
4.7 Stars
Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
32 Million
Downloads on all platforms
10+ years
Experience igniting personal growth
Deeper Dating FAQs
What is the main message of Deeper Dating?
The main message of Deeper Dating is that finding true love starts with embracing our authentic selves.
How long does it take to read Deeper Dating?
The reading time for Deeper Dating varies depending on the reader's speed. However, the Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.
Is Deeper Dating a good book? Is it worth reading?
Deeper Dating is a valuable read for anyone seeking meaningful connections. It provides actionable insights and guidance for building authentic relationships.
Who is the author of Deeper Dating?
The author of Deeper Dating is Ken Page.
What to read after Deeper Dating?
If you're wondering what to read next after Deeper Dating, here are some recommendations we suggest:
- Eight Dates by John Gottman
- The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
- Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller
- How to Be an Adult in Relationships by David Richo
- Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari and Erik Klinenberg
- The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
- Going Solo by Eric Klinenberg
- Relationship Goals by Michael Todd
- Vagabonding by Rolf Potts
- Single, Dating, Engaged, Married by Ben Stuart