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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
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Love Life summary
Matthew Hussey
How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person, and Live Happily (No Matter What)
17 mins
Table of Contents
Love Life
Summary of 4 key ideas
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Key idea 1 of 4
The four stages of importance for a long-term relationship.
Not so long ago, a female friend of Hussey’s went through a break-up. After seven years and no proposal, she decided she’d had enough.
The woman soon got into another relationship, which also ended. Then she started seeing someone else. And when that didn’t work out, she moved onto the next one.
It seemed to Hussey that his friend was choosing these men almost at random.
She not only had a fear of being single; she tended to get swept up in a love story.
And it’s like that for so many of us. Each new romance is a new story, where you get to play a starring role.
We all love love stories. Titanic, for instance – we can’t help but be captivated by the story of Jack and Rose.
But the thing about Titanic, and all the other enchanting romances, is that they’re not real life.
Love stories distract from the essential elements that make relationships last. According to Hussey, we need to look beyond these narratives, and focus on what truly enriches a partnership.
If you’re looking for a long-term, committed relationship, you need to ask yourself – what’s really worth valuing? What should you be looking for?
Hussey has come up with a useful framework to help assess potential long-term partners. He calls it “the four levels of importance.”
The first level is admiration. You feel drawn to the person, and there’s some basic attraction. That’s nice, of course, but it’s not important. It doesn’t mean there’s a solid foundation for a deeper connection.
Moving up, the second level is mutual attraction. This can feel like a big deal because of its intensity and rarity. When someone we like reciprocates our feelings, it's thrilling, and we can quickly start dreaming of an epic romance.
However, mutual attraction can be misleading. There’s no guarantee that both people will ultimately want the same things.
The third level, commitment, is where things start to really matter. Commitment means more than just attraction – it represents a joint decision to build a future together.
Without this mutual agreement, a relationship lacks a foundational pillar. Think of it this way. When you’re dating someone, it’s like you’ve found this nice plot of land together. There’s potential. You could build a house here – even a castle.
But is the other person a builder? Without a builder, there’s no house, no castle: no relationship, in other words.
That brings us to the fourth level.
For a long-term relationship, the essential factor is compatibility. Lasting relationships rely not just on attraction or commitment, but on how well the personalities, values, and life goals of the two people mesh.
You also need to consider how you and your partner manage conflicts, and if you enjoy everyday life together, with all its ups and downs.
Compatibility is essential. That’s what turns a love story into a life story – something real and enduring.
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What is Love Life about?
Love Life (2024) is a treasure trove of valuable relationship advice. By knowing what to look for in a partner, and what to say in difficult situations, we can walk away from dead-end relationships and find the person who’s right for us.
Love Life Review
Love Life by Matthew Hussey (2016) explores the intricacies of modern relationships and offers insights on how to navigate the complexities of love. Here's why this book is definitely worth your time:
- With practical tips on improving communication and understanding emotional needs, it offers actionable advice for strengthening relationships.
- The book delves into common relationship pitfalls and provides strategies for overcoming challenges, making it a valuable resource for anyone seeking to enhance their love life.
- Through engaging anecdotes and relatable scenarios, the book captivates readers and ensures that learning about love remains intriguing and insightful.
Who should read Love Life?
- People struggling to find a committed romantic partner
- People stuck in unhappy relationships
- Anyone who wants dating advice
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Love Life FAQs
What is the main message of Love Life?
The main message of Love Life is to help you navigate relationships and find fulfillment in love.
How long does it take to read Love Life?
Reading Love Life takes a few hours, but the Blinkist summary can be read in about 15 minutes.
Is Love Life a good book? Is it worth reading?
Love Life is worth reading for its practical advice and insight into forming meaningful connections.
Who is the author of Love Life?
Matthew Hussey is the author of Love Life.
What to read after Love Life?
If you're wondering what to read next after Love Life, here are some recommendations we suggest:
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- Think This, Not That by Josh Axe
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- Liberated Love by Mark Groves & Kylie McBeath
- The Power of When by Michael Breus
- Somehow by Anne Lamott
- 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged by H. Norman Wright
- Licence to be Bad by Jonathan Aldred
- You, Happier by Daniel G. Amen